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倚床私語 夫妻睡前聊點兒什么

出處：網(wǎng)絡(luò)收集 日期：2024-07-27 13:52:16 編輯：秩名
倚床私語 夫妻睡前聊點兒什么
　　晚上睡覺前，是彼此放松的好時機，而同床共枕的夫妻，都在聊些什么呢?
 
　　戀愛時，滿眼的你儂我儂，睡前更是耳鬢廝磨春光一片;結(jié)婚，懷孕，生孩子，從此成為彼此熟悉的依靠，這個時候，夫妻間都在聊些什么呢?也許你們整天忙于工作、家務、帶孩子，柴米油鹽吃喝拉撒已經(jīng)耗費的心力全無?？墒?，結(jié)婚后的夫妻，每個人都是一個獨立的個體，雙方都有傾訴和傾聽的需求。
 

　　1. 盡量保持睡覺時間一致

 
　　“睡前聊什么”，這句子有三個關(guān)鍵詞：睡前、聊、什么。
 
　　首先你們得差不多時間上床睡覺，比如，曾經(jīng)有個閨蜜跟我抱怨：自己好不容易哄睡了孩子，然后躺在床上刷刷朋友圈、看看八卦劇，沒過多久就掀開被子睡著了;可這時候老公在干啥?人家要么在看球賽，要么在玩游戲，叫他沖涼他都懶得動。
 
　　所以對于他們來說，睡前時間是錯開的，累了一天的閨蜜甚至都不知道老公是何時上床的，更何談“聊什么”呢?
 
　　對此種情況的建議是：盡量雙方溝通一下，最好能做到同時上床睡覺，或差不多時間，這樣也可避免打擾對方睡眠，還能增加交流時間。在如今的快節(jié)奏重壓力生活下，夫妻的有效交流確實很少，所以——各位爸比媽咪們，當孩子睡了，也請你們盡量保持睡覺時間一致，享受睡前交流時光。

　　2. 誰來打開睡前的沉默?

 
　　當擁有了共同的睡前時光后，聊天的前提條件具備了。那么接下來就是“誰先開口”，很多夫妻都已經(jīng)習慣了各干各的，盡量保持睡覺時間一致，只是為了不打擾對方。也許雙方都沒有覺察到對方有說話的欲望。那么，這時候誰來打破睡前的沉默?
 
　　開口真的那么難嗎?和TA的溝通曾經(jīng)不是那么美妙嗎?每天只要睡前的一點時間，十分鐘也好，半小時也罷，放下手機或iPad，用心傾聽對方講述并給出積極的回應?；貞浺埠?、憧憬也罷;講笑話、聊八卦;吐槽工作、規(guī)劃未來;最近讀了什么書?看了什么電影?想去哪里旅行?然后開心地相擁而眠，這樣的婚姻里，怎一個好字了得?
 
　　但是，前提是有一方主動開口，丟出聊天的橄欖枝，其實只要有一方率先打破沉默，聊起來是很容易的事兒。
 

　　3. 到底聊點兒什么

 
　　再說聊什么的問題。夫妻睡前私語，完全是即興創(chuàng)作，一般不會打腹稿，如果要先想想聊什么再說，八成還沒想好就已經(jīng)睡著了，聊不成。所以，聊什么，看自己的興致所至和臨場發(fā)揮。
 
　　至于聊天后果也立竿見影：聊得好，至少可以保證一夜的好心情好睡眠;聊不好，就生氣傷心做惡夢吧。
 
　　因此，雖然說“聊什么”是臨場發(fā)揮，率性而為，它仍然是個技術(shù)活兒。這個，也不用學別人怎么做。從戀愛到結(jié)婚，夫妻雙方對彼此的了解不得不說是深刻。有的人習慣睡前來個晚安吻，說聲我愛你?？墒怯械娜司推涣晳T這一套。關(guān)心對方所關(guān)心的，說自己想傾訴的，自然就有話聊。
 
　　夜半私語也與傳統(tǒng)文化一樣源遠流長：在天愿作比翼鳥，在地愿為連理枝，那是癡話;何當共剪西窗燭，卻話巴山夜雨時，那是閑話。癡話也好閑話也罷，看上去百無聊賴，品一品情深意濃，這是自古以來夜半私語的范本，也是我等俗世男女婚姻生活的理想。

　　4、夫妻愉快聊天的基本原則

 
　　要想有一個愉快的睡前聊天時光，有一些基本原則務必要注意的，當然這也是夫妻關(guān)系中長期適用的。或許當萌妹子還沒有成為“某太、某某媽媽”，排隊有人約會的時候，小女人的任性、自我、蠻橫都是可以原諒和完全包容的。但在長期的夫妻關(guān)系中，起碼的尊重和平等是十分重要的。
 
　　• 聊天不是吵架，別想著控制對方想法，求同存異很重要;
 
　　• 鼓勵和表揚永遠不過時，贊揚的話誰都愛聽;
 
　　• 傾聽對方比主動傾訴其實更難，給對方留點時間說話;
 
　　• 坦誠很重要，夫妻之間還遮遮掩掩勢必有矛盾;
 
　　• 尊重隱私，對方不想聊的話題別揪著不放;
 
　　• 身體言語有時候有意想不到的效果。
 
　　其實夫妻聊天何止這么點原則，人已經(jīng)是如此復雜的動物，男人女人又各自有著不一樣的思考方式，走到一起，互相依靠，攜手前進，那是對彼此無比的信賴和支持。當每一對夫妻滿懷信心的許下一生的承諾，誰都不會想著有一天會無話可說。但是生活的確這么殘酷，身邊的很多夫妻，包括網(wǎng)上的各種調(diào)查數(shù)據(jù)都顯示：很多夫妻結(jié)婚時間越久交流時間越少。
 
　　好好利用睡前的美妙時光，每天和TA一起聊一聊，隨便什么事兒，盡情傾訴，耐心傾聽，這樣的婚姻，冷漠又怎會有可趁之機?

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