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為原生家庭所困 我該如何從失敗中走出來？

出處：寶媽網(wǎng) 日期：2025-05-04 02:23:11 編輯：星辰

善待你內(nèi)心的生命力，以父母從來沒有過的呵護(hù)去理解、尊重自己的個性和行為。問題：我的原生家庭很糟糕，父母重男輕女，還經(jīng)常吵架打架。他們吵起來也會把我和弟弟牽扯進(jìn)去。20年來，父母對我基本是否定、忽視，他們控制欲很強(qiáng)。高中成績好，他們有面子，可惜高考壓力太大，復(fù)讀才考上了一個普通本科，自己也覺得挺失敗的。父母除了束縛我也沒有教過什么東西，我一直以學(xué)習(xí)為中心，為人處世和實(shí)踐的能力不足。個性懦弱善良，容易逃避，對自己要求高，遇到問題會情緒低落。如今是越來越什么都不想干了。復(fù)讀的時(shí)候好朋友每次考完試都哭，一直安慰她，最后自己情緒崩潰了，現(xiàn)在看到別人的壞情緒就會逃跑?？傆X得電視劇小說里面特別美好，現(xiàn)實(shí)和理想差距為什么那么大？不知道該怎么辦，總是為過去所困?；卮穑阂粋€孩子經(jīng)歷了大大小小的挫折、不公、競爭、束縛，在20歲的時(shí)候，她給一個陌生人寫信：“我想尋求個人成長”。當(dāng)我收到這封信的時(shí)候，我仿佛看見你身上正滋生的成長和獨(dú)立的氣息。原生家庭，是我們每個人的背景。我們承載著它帶給我們的“禮物”和“味道”。它有好的一面，也有讓你倍感痛苦的地方。比如，你的家庭滿足了讓你活下去的需要，卻沒有辦法給你更好地感受生命的條件。如果我們把原生家庭當(dāng)作目前困境的原因，那么很容易出現(xiàn)的情況就是無助。因?yàn)檫^去是不可能扭轉(zhuǎn)的。但是，如果我們只是把原生家庭當(dāng)作目前困境的背景，那么你的內(nèi)心會不會有一些不一樣的感覺？因?yàn)楸尘爸皇潜尘埃?ldquo;我”要如何過一生，我做什么、想什么，我可以有一定的選擇能力。你看，這些壓力和瑣碎讓你喘不過來氣的同時(shí)，也會讓你更向往美好的事物，更有動力在未來的人生經(jīng)營一份溫暖的關(guān)系。雖然你在說自己為過去所困，但是我已經(jīng)看到你解困的勇氣和行為，只是，這些勇氣和行為藏在一般人看不到的地方，甚至?xí)荒阕约赫`解。比如：不把高考成績考好，我想把它看作是你內(nèi)心不堪重負(fù)的某種抗?fàn)?；自我放逐，什么也不想做，我想把它看作是你?nèi)心不堪重負(fù)的某種抗?fàn)?；看到別人的壞情緒就會跑，我仍想把它看作是你內(nèi)心不堪重負(fù)的某種抗?fàn)帲?hellip;…這些看上去似乎不那么符合別人要求的行為、不那么正能量和積極的行為，在我看來，恰恰展示了你希望成為自己、不再備受捆綁。善待你內(nèi)心的生命力，以父母從來沒有過的呵護(hù)去理解、尊重自己的個性和行為：我可以不那么好，我可以不那么辛苦，我可以不那么優(yōu)秀……我想，這是擺脫原生家庭負(fù)面影響中很重要的一步。

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