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董宇輝：若孩子不會控制自己的脾氣，那請家長給他講講這個故事

出處：@禾禾媽愛學習日期：2024-08-22 03:09:02編輯：網(wǎng)絡收集

生活中，我們可能經(jīng)常會遇到一些孩子，因為各種原因而突然發(fā)脾氣、大哭大鬧，甚至當眾撒潑打滾。

比如，想要的玩具父母不給買，積木堆不好，輸?shù)袅吮荣?，作業(yè)不會寫……

等各種在我們眼里，看似無關緊要的時刻，都可能成為他們情緒崩潰的導火索！

都說孩子的臉是六月的天，說變就變，剛剛還是艷陽天，下一秒說不定就大雨滂沱！

然而，這種突如其來的情緒轉變，讓許多家長都感到措手不及，很是苦惱。

那么，究竟是什么導致了孩子們情緒的不穩(wěn)定呢？有沒有什么辦法可以幫助孩子更好的控制自己的情緒呢？接下來禾禾媽就帶各位家長，深入了解下有關孩子情緒的一系列問題！

01是什么導致了孩子們情緒的不穩(wěn)定？

俗話說解鈴還須系鈴人，想要幫助孩子養(yǎng)成良好的情緒調(diào)控能力，首先我們就要弄清楚，到底是什么導致了孩子們不穩(wěn)定的情緒？

① 生理原因

腦科學研究發(fā)現(xiàn)：人類的大腦由“本能腦、情緒腦、理智腦“三部分組成，且三個大腦發(fā)育成熟的時間不同，本能腦早在嬰兒時期（2歲左右）就比較完善了，情緒腦則要等到青春期早期（12歲左右）才趨于完善，而理智腦最晚，要等到成年早期（22歲左右）才基本發(fā)育成熟。

由此可見，12歲以下的孩子，主管認知的“理智腦”以及主管情緒的“情緒腦”還未發(fā)育成熟。

所以，日常生活中做的大部分決策，往往來自本能，因此，當他們面臨一些困擾和疑惑時，較容易受情緒控制，難以有效控制自己的行為。

②家庭環(huán)境

根據(jù)一項大規(guī)模的家庭調(diào)查顯示：家庭氛圍緊張、親子關系不佳的孩子，其情緒控制問題的發(fā)生率，明顯高于家庭和諧的孩子。

關于這一點，我是深有體會的，因為我的媽媽就是一個情緒極不穩(wěn)定的人，動不動就會因為一點小事大發(fā)雷霆，情緒失控。

打小就生活在這種氛圍緊張的家庭環(huán)境中，我不知不覺也成為了這種人，要不是結婚后老公給我提醒，我現(xiàn)在還意識不到這個問題的嚴重性，并努力改正。

父母是孩子的第一任老師，年幼的孩子往往通過模仿父母的情緒表達方式，來建立自己的情緒表達方式。

如果你或者你的家人，無法控制自己的情緒，孩子就很難從家人那里學到如何有效地管理自己的情緒，從而變得情緒不穩(wěn)定。

③教育方式

一項針對不同教育方式的對比研究發(fā)現(xiàn)：采用溫和、理解、引導的教育方式，比采用嚴厲、懲罰的教育方式更能培養(yǎng)孩子的情緒控制能力。

比如說，當孩子A和B同時因為某事，感到憤怒或者沮喪時。

A孩子的父母，采取的是先安撫孩子的情緒，然后跟孩子溝通產(chǎn)生情緒的原因，接著引導孩子表達自己的感受，最后共同探討解決問題的辦法。

而B孩子的父母，看到憤怒的孩子，卻只懂得對孩子進行批評或者懲罰，試圖通過自己的權威壓制孩子的情緒表達，讓孩子聽話。

長期下來，孩子A便可學會如何識別和處理自己的情緒，而孩子B則可能會變得易怒、暴躁，無法控制自己的情緒，甚至產(chǎn)生心理問題。

相比嚴厲、懲罰的教育方式，溫和的教育方式，更注重引導孩子理解和處理情緒，有助于建立親子之間的信任和情感聯(lián)系，使孩子更愿意向父母敞開心扉，表達自己的情緒和需求。

這不僅能夠讓孩子在輕松愉快的氛圍中成長，還能幫助他們建立起積極、健康的心態(tài)，更好地應對生活中的挑戰(zhàn)和困難。

02 如何幫助孩子控制情緒？

在提到如何幫助孩子認識情緒、控制情緒時，董宇輝曾講過的一個“蛇與鋸子”的故事，個人覺得非常的形象生動，尤其適合孩子發(fā)脾氣時，拿出來講給他們聽。

有一天，一條蛇爬進一家木工店去找吃的，當它穿過地上的鋸子時，身體被劃了一道傷口，被劃破身體的蛇十分憤怒，于是轉過身一口咬住鋸子。

結果，鋸子絲毫沒有損傷，反而蛇的嘴巴被割破了，蛇不明白發(fā)生了什么事，本能的認為是鋸子在攻擊它，于是它越發(fā)憤怒，紅著眼睛沖向鋸子，用身體使勁勒住鋸子，希望把鋸子勒死。

然而，當它用盡全身力氣后，鋸子依舊毫發(fā)無損，反而自己被割成了兩段死掉了，蛇到死都沒明白是怎么回事。

董宇輝說：“我們的情緒就像一條蛇，沒有危險時它會靜靜地盤踞在角落里，安靜而平和；但當我們遇到不愉快的事情，感到憤怒、沮喪或者害怕時，‘情緒之蛇’就會活躍起來。如果我們不學會控制自己的行為，用鋸子去攻擊它，那‘情緒之蛇’就會變得愈加狂躁，甚至可能反咬我們一口。相反，如果我們能夠冷靜下來，用理智和耐心去對待它，那么這條蛇就會逐漸安靜下來，恢復它原本的平靜。”

父母通過跟孩子講述“蛇與鋸子”的故事，不僅可以幫助孩子更深入地理解情緒的本質，還能教會孩子在面對不同情緒時，如何運用理智和冷靜去引導和管理它們。

【最后寫給家長的話】

發(fā)脾氣是弱者的本能，控制情緒才是強者的本事。

作為父母，我們不僅要運用恰當?shù)慕逃椒?，更要為孩子打造一個和諧穩(wěn)定的情感環(huán)境，通過自身的言行示范，幫助孩子深入認識和理解情緒，進而學會有效地管理情緒。

只有這樣，我們的孩子才能在今后的人生旅程中，更加從容地面對生活中的種種挑戰(zhàn)和困難，成長為內(nèi)心堅韌、自信滿滿的人！

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