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為孩子選擇學(xué)校的過程，就是在給他的未來選擇“圈子”嗎？

出處：@沫沫的歲月靜好日期：2024-06-12 11:30:31編輯：小編

還記得幾年前有個(gè)很不錯(cuò)的都市劇《三十而已》里，有一個(gè)片段是說全職媽媽顧佳，家庭幸福、事業(yè)小成，為了孩子的求學(xué)特意買到高檔社區(qū)、強(qiáng)求融入到本不屬于自己的圈子，哪怕在圈子里面受盡了委屈，也絕不退縮，只為成全孩子進(jìn)入小區(qū)的一個(gè)高檔幼兒園。

沒有想到，故事里的事，如今還真的發(fā)生在身邊了。

我的一個(gè)朋友小航，今年兒子該上幼兒園。

她們家附近有一個(gè)公立幼兒園，只不過規(guī)模小一些，設(shè)施舊一點(diǎn)，勝在小而溫馨，老師幾乎都認(rèn)得，也對孩子認(rèn)真負(fù)責(zé)，園里飯菜稱不上精致，但還算可口，且收費(fèi)低廉。

距離她們家不算太遠(yuǎn)的地方，有一個(gè)品牌私立幼兒園，規(guī)模很大，設(shè)備齊全，據(jù)說是中外合資，招生宣傳也沸沸揚(yáng)揚(yáng)，活動不少，動輒就是PARTY、游學(xué)、節(jié)日慶典等，要求父母事無巨細(xì)的投入，且收費(fèi)不低。

本來按照小航最初的預(yù)期，就是要把孩子送到私立幼兒園去，從小接受中西文化，然后走貴族雙語小學(xué)、私立中學(xué)，最終直接送出國這條教育路線。

可是這兩年的疫情緣故，是小航先生的生意大受打擊，原本規(guī)模不小的公司，如今已經(jīng)壓縮得只剩下幾個(gè)原始員工和股東在苦苦強(qiáng)撐著，朝不保夕。房貸、車貸、錦衣玉食的生活，這些過去唾手可得的日子，如今已經(jīng)成為壓在小航先生身上的重重大山，讓他有些喘不過氣來。

所以，小航的先生建議先把孩子送到公立幼兒園就好，等過了這段時(shí)間經(jīng)濟(jì)復(fù)蘇，壓力減小的時(shí)候再為孩子轉(zhuǎn)園也不是不可以。

小航斷然拒絕這個(gè)提議，言辭激烈的要求，哪怕是賣掉家里的一套房子，也要讓孩子得到最好的教育，不能讓孩子受到一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)的委屈。

兩口子沒有達(dá)成共識，先冷戰(zhàn)起來。

小航找我訴苦，口口聲聲說自己就是為了孩子好，認(rèn)為只有在這樣的幼兒園，才能夠有足夠優(yōu)秀的圈子，讓孩子從小都會有不一樣的生活體驗(yàn)。

其實(shí)我是不太明白小航的這些道理從何而來，且不敢茍同。

誰說收費(fèi)高昂、看似活動頻多、打著中外合資的旗號，就算是優(yōu)秀的幼兒園？誰又能保證，優(yōu)秀的幼兒園里就一定會培養(yǎng)出全部都是優(yōu)秀的孩子？一定就會有高檔的圈子，且能夠陪伴孩子一生？

父母有能力，把孩子送到自認(rèn)為更好的地方未嘗不可，但若是為了一時(shí)的面子或者所謂的圈子，而強(qiáng)行把孩子送到自己能力范圍尚且夠不著的地方，還真不見得是好事兒吧！

因?yàn)椋?ldquo;圈子”本就是具有相同愛好、興趣或者為了某個(gè)特定目的而聯(lián)系在一起的人群。每個(gè)圈子都有每個(gè)圈子不同的核心，包容和自己志同道合的人，排斥與自己不相干的人。這種包容與排斥，說實(shí)話，多與家庭的觀念和經(jīng)濟(jì)有關(guān)。

比如我有一個(gè)朋友，他的圈子里多是打高爾夫球的一群人，動輒就呼朋喚友一起飛到某地酣暢淋漓地來幾場再解散。若是沒有這個(gè)經(jīng)濟(jì)實(shí)力，再沒有時(shí)間自由，哪里能夠有“說走就走”的行程安排？

而對于孩子來講，他們的幼兒園、學(xué)校生活，又何嘗不是一個(gè)小社會、小江湖？他們有自己玩得好的一圈人，也有自己排斥的一些人，只不過，這種自發(fā)形成的小圈子，沒有直接的經(jīng)濟(jì)關(guān)系，卻與孩子的成績緊密相連。

比如在學(xué)校里的確會有很多小團(tuán)體，都是以“自發(fā)”為前提，但是“成績的高低”占據(jù)了很重要的地位，比如成績好的孩子與成績差的孩子，很少會有交集（不要被電影、電視里那些超越生活的杜撰所迷惑）。

家長希望為孩子營造一個(gè)更好的學(xué)習(xí)和成長空間而去關(guān)注一個(gè)圈子沒有錯(cuò)，但是若急功近利地引導(dǎo)孩子去混入某個(gè)不屬于自己的圈子，孩子也會心態(tài)失衡，且不利于他健康成長，甚至?xí)艿脚艛D。

好的教育，應(yīng)該包括好的學(xué)校、好的老師、好的伙伴和好的家庭，這些在孩子的成長中，各有千秋，都占據(jù)很重要的比重。

在孩子小的時(shí)候，還不懂得成人世界的冷暖，他們會用自己的喜好去交自己喜歡的朋友，沒有太多功利，也沒有太多的目的性。

這個(gè)時(shí)候，父母對孩子的引導(dǎo)很重要，根據(jù)孩子的喜好，引發(fā)孩子的興趣，鼓勵(lì)孩子去認(rèn)識志同道合的伙伴，相互協(xié)助，共同成長才是圈子真正的意義。

至于因?yàn)榧彝サ慕?jīng)濟(jì)條件而選擇的圈子，那是父母的圈子，不是孩子真正感興趣的??！

所以，讓孩子選擇適合自己的圈子，從小認(rèn)識真正的朋友、結(jié)識真心的伙伴很重要。

什么才是“適合”的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)呢？總結(jié)下來，符合家庭實(shí)際條件、符合孩子個(gè)性特點(diǎn)、符合孩子成長方向的，就是適合的吧！

不必盲目追逐、融入不適合自己的圈子，那才是既浪費(fèi)時(shí)間，也浪費(fèi)情感、得不償失的選擇呢！

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