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預(yù)防孩子行為偏差的30個(gè)案例 教育孩子必學(xué)的方法(6)

出處：媽媽育兒網(wǎng)日期：2016-03-05 16:30:03編輯：admin

案例11：愛(ài)說(shuō)“我不會(huì)”的孩子

在我們班級(jí)里有一個(gè)孩子，無(wú)論做什么事都會(huì)不假思索地說(shuō)“我不會(huì)”，而后就等待老師解決。穿襪子，“我不會(huì)”；扣衣扣，“我不會(huì)”；吃飯，他把頭扭向一邊，還是“我不會(huì)”；小朋友活動(dòng)時(shí)他坐在那里不參加，問(wèn)他還是“我不會(huì)”；

今年開(kāi)學(xué)，我讓每個(gè)小朋友說(shuō)說(shuō)過(guò)年都做什么了，有的說(shuō)和爸爸放鞭炮了，有的說(shuō)吃餃子了，還有的說(shuō)看煙花、看燈展了，最后一個(gè)讓他說(shuō)，還是那句“我不會(huì)”。

通過(guò)了解發(fā)現(xiàn)，孩子這種過(guò)度依賴、不自信的表現(xiàn)，主要就是因?yàn)樗械氖虑槎急患议L(zhǎng)代勞了，只要說(shuō)“我想要”“我不會(huì)”就能得到滿足。

專家點(diǎn)評(píng)：

這是一個(gè)被家長(zhǎng)剝奪了成長(zhǎng)能力的孩子！家長(zhǎng)的代勞導(dǎo)致孩子只要說(shuō)“我不會(huì)”就能滿足需求。這其實(shí)反映了孩子“癥狀獲益”的心理，即一個(gè)行為癥狀的出現(xiàn)如果總能獲得好處，那么這個(gè)行為癥狀就會(huì)一直出現(xiàn)！

要讓孩子改變“我不會(huì)”的狀態(tài)，家長(zhǎng)必須要改變，要放手讓孩子多做，有時(shí)也可以用一些引導(dǎo)詞：“孩子如果你會(huì)了，你會(huì)……（描述一個(gè)孩子學(xué)會(huì)了以后會(huì)怎么樣的一個(gè)畫面）”“孩子你是以前不會(huì)，現(xiàn)在學(xué)了（做了）就會(huì)！”

預(yù)防孩子行為偏差的30個(gè)案例 教育孩子必學(xué)的方法

案例12：對(duì)孩子不當(dāng)?shù)馁?gòu)物要求說(shuō)“不”

兒子上小學(xué)一年級(jí)時(shí),爆丸小子熱播,兒子收集了幾乎所有種類的爆丸,可他依然看到必買。有一天,放學(xué)回家路上，兒子看到路邊小攤擺著各種爆丸,他又不走了,最終，我還是堅(jiān)持不買，兒子氣得直哭。

晚飯后，我對(duì)兒子說(shuō)：“你看，這世界上有很多好東西，包括好玩的玩具、漂亮的衣服很多很多，但我們不可能全部擁有,有時(shí)候喜歡了,看看欣賞一下就可以了,就像媽媽看上了一件昂貴的衣服,我當(dāng)然不會(huì)拿一個(gè)月工資去買,但是可以欣賞欣賞。”這時(shí)兒子已經(jīng)想通了。后來(lái)再買東西時(shí)，兒子比較理性了,沒(méi)有發(fā)生類似情況。

專家點(diǎn)評(píng)：

對(duì)孩子提出的不合理的物質(zhì)要求，家長(zhǎng)要合理分析，如果是孩子的興趣愛(ài)好，要像這位家長(zhǎng)那樣去合理引導(dǎo)；如果孩子是通過(guò)買東西向家長(zhǎng)索要“愛(ài)”，家長(zhǎng)要告訴孩子：“我沒(méi)給你買，但我也是愛(ài)你的，我給你講故事、陪著你玩、為你做好吃的，都是在愛(ài)你！我愛(ài)你的方式有很多種，不只是通過(guò)給你買禮物！”

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