媽媽育兒網(wǎng)
當(dāng)前位置: 主頁(yè) > 教育 > 行為教育 >

若你看不懂孩子行為背后的邏輯，那么你很難成為優(yōu)秀的家長(zhǎng)

出處：@沫沫的歲月靜好日期：2024-06-12 11:14:25編輯：小編

我們都知道《扁鵲見(jiàn)蔡桓公》的故事，一次又一次，扁鵲見(jiàn)到蔡桓公，從最初的診斷到最后的放棄，都是因?yàn)樽鳛槊t(yī)，他看到了病人的本質(zhì)，而蔡桓公卻忽略了這一點(diǎn)。

而魏文王也曾問(wèn)扁鵲，你們家三兄弟，都精于醫(yī)術(shù)，那么誰(shuí)的本領(lǐng)更好呢？

扁鵲很誠(chéng)實(shí)的回答：“我的長(zhǎng)兄最好，中兄次之，我最差。”

魏文王好奇：“那為什么你卻最出名？”

扁鵲回答：“我長(zhǎng)兄治病，往往在病情發(fā)作之前，病人還不知道他就已經(jīng)醫(yī)好了病，所以他的名氣無(wú)法傳出來(lái)。我的中兄治病，往往在病情初期的時(shí)候，還未發(fā)作就已經(jīng)醫(yī)好了，所以大家以為他只能看一些輕微的小病。而我治病往往在病情嚴(yán)重的時(shí)候，人們都看到我在治病過(guò)程中的忙碌，就以為我的醫(yī)術(shù)高明罷了。”

其實(shí)從另一個(gè)方面也告訴我們，如果我們看事情不能看到行為背后的邏輯，那么就很難知道事情的本質(zhì)和真相。

育兒也是如此，如果作為家長(zhǎng)看不懂孩子行為背后的邏輯，也真的無(wú)法成為優(yōu)秀的家長(zhǎng)。

我們不能僅憑我們的眼睛去看孩子，有的時(shí)候看不準(zhǔn)，有的時(shí)候不過(guò)是孩子想要你看到的而已。

所以，用心去看孩子，用你的心去聽(tīng)孩子的心，才是教育的真諦。

心不在，就會(huì)視而不見(jiàn)、聽(tīng)而不聞，作為家長(zhǎng)不僅要看到表面的東西，還要看到背后的真實(shí)。

1、孩子考了高分，背后是什么？

家長(zhǎng)簡(jiǎn)單的把孩子的成績(jī)看做孩子表現(xiàn)好或者不好的依據(jù)，從此讓100分成為了孩子的噩夢(mèng)。

這就是只看孩子的表面，而沒(méi)有看到孩子表現(xiàn)背后的東西。

父母更應(yīng)該和孩子分析的是，孩子考試成績(jī)背后的內(nèi)容。是他的努力、奮斗、認(rèn)真和細(xì)心，導(dǎo)致這次他成績(jī)的優(yōu)秀，亦或是這些關(guān)鍵的欠缺，導(dǎo)致孩子成績(jī)的敗北。

分?jǐn)?shù)就是表現(xiàn)，簡(jiǎn)簡(jiǎn)單單；而分?jǐn)?shù)背后孩子的付出，才是真實(shí)的內(nèi)容，是我們想要孩子達(dá)成的品質(zhì)，也是需要家長(zhǎng)判斷和引領(lǐng)的東西。

2、孩子行為背后的邏輯，如何顯現(xiàn)出來(lái)？

面對(duì)孩子不好的、錯(cuò)誤的行為，比如打架。我們常規(guī)的做法就是擺事實(shí)、講道理，小懲大誡。這樣做有效果嗎？

事實(shí)上，我們需要反思，孩子總是打架背后的真實(shí)原因是什么？

尤其不要總是問(wèn)孩子為什么。

因?yàn)?，?dāng)你問(wèn)為什么的時(shí)候，就把孩子的思緒拉回到了過(guò)去，讓他回憶痛苦、激發(fā)他的憤怒。事實(shí)上，當(dāng)孩子出現(xiàn)錯(cuò)誤問(wèn)題的時(shí)候，我們一旦要聚焦到錯(cuò)誤行為的時(shí)候，不但沒(méi)有意義，還只能降低孩子的能量。

如何分析孩子打架背后的邏輯呢？

父母需要從環(huán)境、行為、能力、價(jià)值觀、身份、愿景這幾個(gè)方面綜合考慮才可以改變孩子錯(cuò)誤的行為。

任何人的行為背后都說(shuō)明有一定的能力，做得不好說(shuō)明欠缺某種能力；做得好，說(shuō)明他擁有這種能力。

作為家長(zhǎng)就要從這幾個(gè)邏輯方面洞察孩子欠缺什么能力，然后幫助孩子補(bǔ)上去，不要聚焦他的“過(guò)去”，而且就這個(gè)模式也給孩子帶來(lái)一個(gè)巨大的影響：輕裝上陣，才能活得輕松，遠(yuǎn)離抑郁。

所以，要想改變孩子的錯(cuò)誤行為，一定先去彌補(bǔ)他欠缺某種能力，然后想辦法提升就OK了。

若是10歲以上孩子，不僅要考慮他欠缺某種能力，還要培養(yǎng)孩子正確的價(jià)值觀。即孩子對(duì)世界的看法，做決定的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。

價(jià)值觀會(huì)影響到孩子內(nèi)心真正的渴望，學(xué)會(huì)引導(dǎo)孩子自己去思考、去判斷、去解決問(wèn)題。

這樣才能找到了孩子行為背后真正的邏輯，所面臨的問(wèn)題也就真正地解決了。

另外，當(dāng)孩子出現(xiàn)錯(cuò)誤行為的時(shí)候，還要參考判斷他的家庭關(guān)系、父母相處之道。

往往夫妻關(guān)系好，就是送給孩子最好的禮物。一個(gè)孩子在缺乏愛(ài)的不圓滿(mǎn)的家庭中長(zhǎng)大，可以成才，可以長(zhǎng)本事，但幸福指數(shù)會(huì)很低，所以好的家庭環(huán)境，和諧的夫妻關(guān)系是孩子成長(zhǎng)的基礎(chǔ)。

所以，我們批評(píng)孩子、指責(zé)孩子，在管理他的時(shí)候，一定要先找準(zhǔn)了：診病比治病更重要。如果前期診斷錯(cuò)了，后期的藥方是沒(méi)有用的。

了解行為背后的邏輯，找對(duì)原因才關(guān)鍵。

    相關(guān)閱讀

    熱點(diǎn)推薦

      編輯推薦

      圖文推薦
      • 五行缺木的男孩名字屬龍 龍年缺木男孩名字

      • 男孩五行缺木取什么名字好 男孩五行缺木的好名字

      • 五行起名字大全免費(fèi) 根據(jù)五行八字免費(fèi)起名

      • 八字算五行缺什么取名 八字怎么算五行缺什么

      熱門(mén)閱讀

      Weibo Article 1 Weibo Article 2 Weibo Article 3 Weibo Article 4 Weibo Article 5 Weibo Article 6 Weibo Article 7 Weibo Article 8 Weibo Article 9 Weibo Article 10 Weibo Article 11 Weibo Article 12 Weibo Article 13 Weibo Article 14 Weibo Article 15 Weibo Article 16 Weibo Article 17 Weibo Article 18 Weibo Article 19 Weibo Article 20 Weibo Article 21 Weibo Article 22 Weibo Article 23 Weibo Article 24 Weibo Article 25 Weibo Article 26 Weibo Article 27 Weibo Article 28 Weibo Article 29 Weibo Article 30 Weibo Article 31 Weibo Article 32 Weibo Article 33 Weibo Article 34 Weibo Article 35 Weibo Article 36 Weibo Article 37 Weibo Article 38 Weibo Article 39 Weibo Article 40 Weibo Article 41 Weibo Article 42 Weibo Article 43 Weibo Article 44 Weibo Article 45 Weibo Article 46 Weibo Article 47 Weibo Article 48 Weibo Article 49 Weibo Article 50 Weibo Article 51 Weibo Article 52 Weibo Article 53 Weibo Article 54 Weibo Article 55 Weibo Article 56 Weibo Article 57 Weibo Article 58 Weibo Article 59 Weibo Article 60 Weibo Article 61 Weibo Article 62 Weibo Article 63 Weibo Article 64 Weibo Article 65 Weibo Article 66 Weibo Article 67 Weibo Article 68 Weibo Article 69 Weibo Article 70 Weibo Article 71 Weibo Article 72 Weibo Article 73 Weibo Article 74 Weibo Article 75 Weibo Article 76 Weibo Article 77 Weibo Article 78 Weibo Article 79 Weibo Article 80 Weibo Article 81 Weibo Article 82 Weibo Article 83 Weibo Article 84 Weibo Article 85 Weibo Article 86 Weibo Article 87 Weibo Article 88 Weibo Article 89 Weibo Article 90 Weibo Article 91 Weibo Article 92 Weibo Article 93 Weibo Article 94 Weibo Article 95 Weibo Article 96 Weibo Article 97 Weibo Article 98 Weibo Article 99 Weibo Article 100 Weibo Article 101 Weibo Article 102 Weibo Article 103 Weibo Article 104 Weibo Article 105 Weibo Article 106 Weibo Article 107 Weibo Article 108 Weibo Article 109 Weibo Article 110 Weibo Article 111 Weibo Article 112 Weibo Article 113 Weibo Article 114 Weibo Article 115 Weibo Article 116 Weibo Article 117 Weibo Article 118 Weibo Article 119 Weibo Article 120 Weibo Article 121 Weibo Article 122 Weibo Article 123 Weibo Article 124 Weibo Article 125 Weibo Article 126 Weibo Article 127 Weibo Article 128 Weibo Article 129 Weibo Article 130 Weibo Article 131 Weibo Article 132 Weibo Article 133 Weibo Article 134 Weibo Article 135 Weibo Article 136 Weibo Article 137 Weibo Article 138 Weibo Article 139 Weibo Article 140 Weibo Article 141 Weibo Article 142 Weibo Article 143 Weibo Article 144 Weibo Article 145 Weibo Article 146 Weibo Article 147 Weibo Article 148 Weibo Article 149 Weibo Article 150 Weibo Article 151 Weibo Article 152 Weibo Article 153 Weibo Article 154 Weibo Article 155 Weibo Article 156 Weibo Article 157 Weibo Article 158 Weibo Article 159 Weibo Article 160 Weibo Article 161 Weibo Article 162 Weibo Article 163 Weibo Article 164 Weibo Article 165 Weibo Article 166 Weibo Article 167 Weibo Article 168 Weibo Article 169 Weibo Article 170 Weibo Article 171 Weibo Article 172 Weibo Article 173 Weibo Article 174 Weibo Article 175 Weibo Article 176 Weibo Article 177 Weibo Article 178 Weibo Article 179 Weibo Article 180 Weibo Article 181 Weibo Article 182 Weibo Article 183 Weibo Article 184 Weibo Article 185 Weibo Article 186 Weibo Article 187 Weibo Article 188 Weibo Article 189 Weibo Article 190 Weibo Article 191 Weibo Article 192 Weibo Article 193 Weibo Article 194 Weibo Article 195 Weibo Article 196 Weibo Article 197 Weibo Article 198 Weibo Article 199 Weibo Article 200 Weibo Article 201 Weibo Article 202 Weibo Article 203 Weibo Article 204 Weibo Article 205 Weibo Article 206 Weibo Article 207 Weibo Article 208 Weibo Article 209 Weibo Article 210 Weibo Article 211 Weibo Article 212 Weibo Article 213 Weibo Article 214 Weibo Article 215 Weibo Article 216 Weibo Article 217 Weibo Article 218 Weibo Article 219 Weibo Article 220 Weibo Article 221 Weibo Article 222 Weibo Article 223 Weibo Article 224 Weibo Article 225 Weibo Article 226 Weibo Article 227 Weibo Article 228 Weibo Article 229 Weibo Article 230 Weibo Article 231 Weibo Article 232 Weibo Article 233 Weibo Article 234 Weibo Article 235 Weibo Article 236 Weibo Article 237 Weibo Article 238 Weibo Article 239 Weibo Article 240 Weibo Article 241 Weibo Article 242 Weibo Article 243 Weibo Article 244 Weibo Article 245 Weibo Article 246 Weibo Article 247 Weibo Article 248 Weibo Article 249 Weibo Article 250 Weibo Article 251 Weibo Article 252 Weibo Article 253 Weibo Article 254 Weibo Article 255 Weibo Article 256 Weibo Article 257 Weibo Article 258 Weibo Article 259 Weibo Article 260 Weibo Article 261 Weibo Article 262 Weibo Article 263 Weibo Article 264 Weibo Article 265 Weibo Article 266 Weibo Article 267 Weibo Article 268 Weibo Article 269 Weibo Article 270 Weibo Article 271 Weibo Article 272 Weibo Article 273 Weibo Article 274 Weibo Article 275 Weibo Article 276 Weibo Article 277 Weibo Article 278 Weibo Article 279 Weibo Article 280 Weibo Article 281 Weibo Article 282 Weibo Article 283 Weibo Article 284 Weibo Article 285 Weibo Article 286 Weibo Article 287 Weibo Article 288 Weibo Article 289 Weibo Article 290 Weibo Article 291 Weibo Article 292 Weibo Article 293 Weibo Article 294 Weibo Article 295 Weibo Article 296 Weibo Article 297 Weibo Article 298 Weibo Article 299 Weibo Article 300 Weibo Article 301 Weibo Article 302 Weibo Article 303 Weibo Article 304 Weibo Article 305 Weibo Article 306 Weibo Article 307 Weibo Article 308 Weibo Article 309 Weibo Article 310 Weibo Article 311 Weibo Article 312 Weibo Article 313 Weibo Article 314 Weibo Article 315 Weibo Article 316 Weibo Article 317 Weibo Article 318 Weibo Article 319 Weibo Article 320 Weibo Article 321 Weibo Article 322 Weibo Article 323 Weibo Article 324 Weibo Article 325 Weibo Article 326 Weibo Article 327 Weibo Article 328 Weibo Article 329 Weibo Article 330 Weibo Article 331 Weibo Article 332 Weibo Article 333 Weibo Article 334 Weibo Article 335 Weibo Article 336 Weibo Article 337 Weibo Article 338 Weibo Article 339 Weibo Article 340 Weibo Article 341 Weibo Article 342 Weibo Article 343 Weibo Article 344 Weibo Article 345 Weibo Article 346 Weibo Article 347 Weibo Article 348 Weibo Article 349 Weibo Article 350 Weibo Article 351 Weibo Article 352 Weibo Article 353 Weibo Article 354 Weibo Article 355 Weibo Article 356 Weibo Article 357 Weibo Article 358 Weibo Article 359 Weibo Article 360 Weibo Article 361 Weibo Article 362 Weibo Article 363 Weibo Article 364 Weibo Article 365 Weibo Article 366 Weibo Article 367 Weibo Article 368 Weibo Article 369 Weibo Article 370 Weibo Article 371 Weibo Article 372 Weibo Article 373 Weibo Article 374 Weibo Article 375 Weibo Article 376 Weibo Article 377 Weibo Article 378 Weibo Article 379 Weibo Article 380 Weibo Article 381 Weibo Article 382 Weibo Article 383 Weibo Article 384 Weibo Article 385 Weibo Article 386 Weibo Article 387 Weibo Article 388 Weibo Article 389 Weibo Article 390 Weibo Article 391 Weibo Article 392 Weibo Article 393 Weibo Article 394 Weibo Article 395 Weibo Article 396 Weibo Article 397 Weibo Article 398 Weibo Article 399 Weibo Article 400 Weibo Article 401 Weibo Article 402 Weibo Article 403 Weibo Article 404 Weibo Article 405 Weibo Article 406 Weibo Article 407 Weibo Article 408 Weibo Article 409 Weibo Article 410 Weibo Article 411 Weibo Article 412 Weibo Article 413 Weibo Article 414 Weibo Article 415 Weibo Article 416 Weibo Article 417 Weibo Article 418 Weibo Article 419 Weibo Article 420 Weibo Article 421 Weibo Article 422 Weibo Article 423 Weibo Article 424 Weibo Article 425 Weibo Article 426 Weibo Article 427 Weibo Article 428 Weibo Article 429 Weibo Article 430 Weibo Article 431 Weibo Article 432 Weibo Article 433 Weibo Article 434 Weibo Article 435 Weibo Article 436 Weibo Article 437 Weibo Article 438 Weibo Article 439 Weibo Article 440 Weibo Article 441 Weibo Article 442 Weibo Article 443 Weibo Article 444 Weibo Article 445 Weibo Article 446 Weibo Article 447 Weibo Article 448 Weibo Article 449 Weibo Article 450 Weibo Article 451 Weibo Article 452 Weibo Article 453 Weibo Article 454 Weibo Article 455 Weibo Article 456 Weibo Article 457 Weibo Article 458 Weibo Article 459 Weibo Article 460 Weibo Article 461 Weibo Article 462 Weibo Article 463 Weibo Article 464 Weibo Article 465 Weibo Article 466 Weibo Article 467 Weibo Article 468 Weibo Article 469 Weibo Article 470 Weibo Article 471 Weibo Article 472 Weibo Article 473 Weibo Article 474 Weibo Article 475 Weibo Article 476 Weibo Article 477 Weibo Article 478 Weibo Article 479 Weibo Article 480 Weibo Article 481 Weibo Article 482 Weibo Article 483 Weibo Article 484 Weibo Article 485 Weibo Article 486 Weibo Article 487 Weibo Article 488 Weibo Article 489 Weibo Article 490 Weibo Article 491 Weibo Article 492 Weibo Article 493 Weibo Article 494 Weibo Article 495 Weibo Article 496 Weibo Article 497 Weibo Article 498 Weibo Article 499 Weibo Article 500 Weibo Article 501 Weibo Article 502 Weibo Article 503 Weibo Article 504 Weibo Article 505 Weibo Article 506 Weibo Article 507 Weibo Article 508 Weibo Article 509 Weibo Article 510 Weibo Article 511 Weibo Article 512 Weibo Article 513 Weibo Article 514 Weibo Article 515 Weibo Article 516 Weibo Article 517 Weibo Article 518 Weibo Article 519 Weibo Article 520 Weibo Article 521 Weibo Article 522 Weibo Article 523 Weibo Article 524 Weibo Article 525 Weibo Article 526 Weibo Article 527 Weibo Article 528 Weibo Article 529 Weibo Article 530 Weibo Article 531 Weibo Article 532 Weibo Article 533 Weibo Article 534 Weibo Article 535 Weibo Article 536 Weibo Article 537 Weibo Article 538 Weibo Article 539 Weibo Article 540 Weibo Article 541 Weibo Article 542 Weibo Article 543 Weibo Article 544 Weibo Article 545 Weibo Article 546 Weibo Article 547 Weibo Article 548 Weibo Article 549 Weibo Article 550 Weibo Article 551 Weibo Article 552 Weibo Article 553 Weibo Article 554 Weibo Article 555 Weibo Article 556 Weibo Article 557 Weibo Article 558 Weibo Article 559 Weibo Article 560 Weibo Article 561 Weibo Article 562 Weibo Article 563 Weibo Article 564 Weibo Article 565 Weibo Article 566 Weibo Article 567 Weibo Article 568 Weibo Article 569 Weibo Article 570 Weibo Article 571 Weibo Article 572 Weibo Article 573 Weibo Article 574 Weibo Article 575 Weibo Article 576 Weibo Article 577 Weibo Article 578 Weibo Article 579 Weibo Article 580 Weibo Article 581 Weibo Article 582 Weibo Article 583 Weibo Article 584 Weibo Article 585 Weibo Article 586 Weibo Article 587 Weibo Article 588 Weibo Article 589 Weibo Article 590 Weibo Article 591 Weibo Article 592 Weibo Article 593 Weibo Article 594 Weibo Article 595 Weibo Article 596 Weibo Article 597 Weibo Article 598 Weibo Article 599 Weibo Article 600 Weibo Article 601 Weibo Article 602 Weibo Article 603 Weibo Article 604 Weibo Article 605 Weibo Article 606 Weibo Article 607 Weibo Article 608 Weibo Article 609 Weibo Article 610 Weibo Article 611 Weibo Article 612 Weibo Article 613 Weibo Article 614 Weibo Article 615 Weibo Article 616 Weibo Article 617 Weibo Article 618 Weibo Article 619 Weibo Article 620 Weibo Article 621 Weibo Article 622 Weibo Article 623 Weibo Article 624 Weibo Article 625 Weibo Article 626 Weibo Article 627 Weibo Article 628 Weibo Article 629 Weibo Article 630 Weibo Article 631 Weibo Article 632 Weibo Article 633 Weibo Article 634 Weibo Article 635 Weibo Article 636 Weibo Article 637 Weibo Article 638 Weibo Article 639 Weibo Article 640 Weibo Article 641 Weibo Article 642 Weibo Article 643 Weibo Article 644 Weibo Article 645 Weibo Article 646 Weibo Article 647 Weibo Article 648 Weibo Article 649 Weibo Article 650 Weibo Article 651 Weibo Article 652 Weibo Article 653 Weibo Article 654 Weibo Article 655 Weibo Article 656 Weibo Article 657 Weibo Article 658 Weibo Article 659 Weibo Article 660 Weibo Article 661 Weibo Article 662 Weibo Article 663 Weibo Article 664 Weibo Article 665 Weibo Article 666 Weibo Article 667 Weibo Article 668 Weibo Article 669 Weibo Article 670 Weibo Article 671 Weibo Article 672 Weibo Article 673 Weibo Article 674 Weibo Article 675 Weibo Article 676 Weibo Article 677 Weibo Article 678 Weibo Article 679 Weibo Article 680 Weibo Article 681 Weibo Article 682 Weibo Article 683 Weibo Article 684 Weibo Article 685 Weibo Article 686 Weibo Article 687 Weibo Article 688 Weibo Article 689 Weibo Article 690 Weibo Article 691 Weibo Article 692 Weibo Article 693 Weibo Article 694 Weibo Article 695 Weibo Article 696 Weibo Article 697 Weibo Article 698 Weibo Article 699 Weibo Article 700 Weibo Article 701 Weibo Article 702 Weibo Article 703 Weibo Article 704 Weibo Article 705 Weibo Article 706 Weibo Article 707 Weibo Article 708 Weibo Article 709 Weibo Article 710 Weibo Article 711 Weibo Article 712 Weibo Article 713 Weibo Article 714 Weibo Article 715 Weibo Article 716 Weibo Article 717 Weibo Article 718 Weibo Article 719 Weibo Article 720 Weibo Article 721 Weibo Article 722 Weibo Article 723 Weibo Article 724 Weibo Article 725 Weibo Article 726