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這樣批評孩子，才能讓孩子欣然接受，并且改錯進步！

出處：網(wǎng)絡(luò)收集日期：2024-09-02 00:01:54編輯：胖虎愛撩妹
你是否經(jīng)常聽到這樣的話語“總是玩，現(xiàn)在都多少點啦，還寫不完作業(yè)！”或者“我都教了你這么多遍了，你怎么還是不會！”生活中，我們或多或少會親身經(jīng)歷自己或他人對孩子的“批評”，但是作為父母，你真的認識“批評”，真的會正確運用“批評”嗎？
 
批評，百度百科給出的含義之一是“基于狹義的生活習(xí)語，是專指對缺點和錯誤提出意見”。那反觀一下實際的生活中我們遇到的或親身實踐的“批評”，真的有純粹的對孩子的缺點和錯誤提出意見嗎？很多時候，我們所謂的“批評”是不是隨意地在對孩子進行著指責或抱怨呢？
 
 
有一段時間，朋友鄰居家的隔壁總是會在每晚定時響起父母與女兒的爭吵之聲。當然，爭吵的聲音不外乎關(guān)于作業(yè)和生活，而最常聽到的話語是“你真的是太惱火了，我說了多少遍了，你能不能改改”或者“今天晚上你又很晚完不成作業(yè)的話，你看我不收拾你”，這樣的話語很難不令人唏噓。
 
上述案例中的父母其實就存在著批評孩子的常見錯誤之一：對孩子進行一味的指責，很多時候其實是在借題發(fā)揮。父母把孩子的“過錯”作為自己的“出氣筒”，發(fā)泄著自己的壞情緒。
 
生活中，我們常常會羨慕“別人家的孩子”，但是有的父母在孩子面前不停的抱怨：“媽媽沒有出息，賺不到錢，你以后一定要出人頭地”或者“孩子，媽媽命苦，只有你了，你一定要懂事”，有的父母則是會說“你怎么什么事情都做不好”......心理承受能力差的孩子如果長時間面對這樣的抱怨，精神壓力是非常大的。
 
批評孩子的常見錯誤之二：一味的抱怨，甚至在外人面前絲毫不留情面的指出孩子的不足。
 
抱怨并不會讓孩子感受到為人父母的辛苦和不易，只會讓孩子接收到更多的負面情緒。長期處在不當?shù)呐u下的孩子，感受著長期的指責和抱怨，漸漸地他們也會成為這樣的人：看任何事情都不順眼，錯全在他人、“愛抱怨”......比如作業(yè)不會做時抱怨題太難，作業(yè)做不完時怪老師布置的太多等等......
 
正確的批評才能保護孩子們幼小的心靈不會受到傷害，不會造成不可磨滅的影響。
 
那么，究竟如何正確的批評孩子呢？
 
 
 
首先，批評孩子注意區(qū)分時間和場合。
 
1.飯桌上吃飯的時候不批評。寶貴的親子時光不要浪費在容易發(fā)生不愉快的事情上，飯桌上的批評也容易對孩子的食欲造成影響，嚴重的還可能造成進食安全，而且長此以往，也不利于孩子的生長以及發(fā)育。
 
2.孩子興奮的時候不批評。當孩子很興奮的想要與你展示作品或者交流時候，一定不要只抓住那些你認為的重點，比如孩子還沒有睡覺，就直接訓(xùn)斥。當孩子興奮時，他們的中樞神經(jīng)會比較活躍，言語上的批評會比平靜狀態(tài)下帶給他們的打擊更大。
 
3. 有外人在的時候不批評。兒童是很敏感和脆弱的，幼小的心靈需要成人用心呵護。，孩子也像成人一樣是要“面子”的，他們的自尊心也需要多加保護。有的父母在面對外人的夸贊時，不斷地指出孩子身上的不足之處，心想“萬一能激起孩子心里的斗志呢”。一味貶低，孩子的心里一定不好受，孩子被激發(fā)起來的斗志可能只是與你繼續(xù)斗爭的“斗志”，而不是你想要的學(xué)習(xí)上的“斗志”，你所謂的“批評”反而起到了副作用。
 
其次，正確的批評一定建立在一些基礎(chǔ)之上。
 
 
 
基礎(chǔ)1：基于行為的批評，而不是基于人格的批評。
 
基于行為的批評也可以理解為基于事情的批評，也就是我們常說的“對事不對人”。當孩子拿取用一件易碎物品不小心打碎時，基于人格的批評會是“你怎么這么不小心，一點用都沒有”，而基于事情的批評是“這次你沒有拿好這個東西，下次要小心哦”。
 
基于行為的批評能夠快速的幫助孩子建立道德底線，讓他們保有一顆善良、寬容之心。
 
基礎(chǔ)2：基于理性情緒的批評，而不是大吼大叫的批評。
 
基于理性情緒的批評要求的是父母一定不能將自己的情緒遷怒于人，批評孩子前先自我批評。
 
在批評孩子前父母要先把自己冷靜下來，注意說話的語調(diào)，可以有強調(diào)的重點。但是絕不能對著孩子大吼大叫，那只會激起孩子更多的逆反心理。
 
基礎(chǔ)3：基于方法的批評，而不是基于說教的批評。
 
當父母要批評孩子時，不是單純乏味的一一數(shù)落孩子的不足，而是運用角色扮演、繪本故事等方法，帶著孩子去感知正確的情緒和正確的為人做事的方式和方法。
 
基礎(chǔ)4：基于機會的批評，而不是基于父母獨斷的批評。
 
批評孩子前，很多父母很獨斷，完全不理會孩子的辯解。
 
批評孩子前，父母要給孩子一個申訴的機會。在了解清楚實施情況的基礎(chǔ)上，理性的和孩子談一談，相信孩子更能接受這樣的交流方式。
 
其實，三個不能批評孩子的時間和場合以及正確批評的基礎(chǔ)最核心的本質(zhì)只有一個，那就是：保護孩子弱小的心靈，不要忽視言語或者行為會造成的傷害。
 
當然，希望家長們還是盡量少用批評，更多的要學(xué)會表揚孩子?！逗脣寢寗龠^好老師》一書中說道：“批評孩子一定要選擇合適的方式，保護孩子的自尊心、樹立自信心、培養(yǎng)他們的能力為目的。”
 
家長們在批評孩子前，不妨先仔細想一想，自己的批評方式是不是會打擊孩子的自尊心和自信心，扼殺他們的能力！

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