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掌通家園聯(lián)合教育專家呼吁重視對孩子的陪伴

出處：媽媽育兒網(wǎng)日期：2018-09-03 09:35:56編輯：chen

一直以來，“如何陪伴孩子”都是家庭教育領(lǐng)域最受關(guān)注的問題。近日，一篇名為《孩子，爸爸沒時間》的文章讓這一話題再次引發(fā)熱議，“粥悅悅”、“孔二老師”等自媒體人也紛紛對此現(xiàn)象進(jìn)行了討論，相關(guān)文章閱讀量在短時間內(nèi)突破10萬，引起網(wǎng)友共鳴，許多家長在留言區(qū)寫下了自己的故事。

據(jù)了解，這篇文章由掌通家園平臺上的一位幼兒園園長撰寫和發(fā)布的。“孩子因為長期見不到爸爸而忘記他的模樣”、“孩子希望爸爸再次受傷，只為了他能在家多陪陪自己”，“孩子身患急性白血病卻等不來爸爸見上最后一面”……文章中這些讓人心碎的遭遇，都是這位園長或者其他園長的親身經(jīng)歷。

雖然看起來是個例，卻也代表了當(dāng)下孩子們在成長中、家庭教育中遇到的最為普遍的問題。這其中，留守兒童可以說首當(dāng)其沖。第三方數(shù)據(jù)顯示，80%農(nóng)村留守少年兒童存在心理疾病，留守兒童犯罪率占未成年人犯罪70%，并呈上升趨勢。

因為成長過程中嚴(yán)重缺乏父母陪伴，這種現(xiàn)象不僅對留守兒童造成心理傷害，更有可能對智力產(chǎn)生影響。經(jīng)過一些科學(xué)測試，中國留守兒童的智力水平跟有父母在身邊的孩子的智力水平已經(jīng)相差了一大截，跟城市的名牌中小學(xué)的孩子相比更是差了無數(shù)。孩子的反應(yīng)速度不是天生的，更多的是跟著大人的學(xué)習(xí)與成長……美國斯坦福大學(xué)的經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)教授羅斯高，曾帶著他的團(tuán)隊來到中國農(nóng)村，他們通過大量的科學(xué)跟蹤測量發(fā)現(xiàn)：超過一半在農(nóng)村出生的寶寶，在三歲前認(rèn)知發(fā)育緩慢，智力低于標(biāo)準(zhǔn)值，而其中絕大多數(shù)都屬于留守兒童。

專家解讀：缺失陪伴易造成社交障礙等心理隱疾

長期專注于兒童教育研究的蔡偉忠博士指出，缺失陪伴將會給孩子們帶來影響其一生的傷害，甚至?xí){到孩子的生命。

兒童在心理尚未成熟的時候，對與其親近的父母，在心理上有種依戀感，渴望從大人那里獲得安全感。若兒童在幼年時期缺乏陪伴，長此以往，他們的心理就極有可能受到創(chuàng)傷，從而導(dǎo)致他們極度缺乏安全感。

為了彌補內(nèi)心缺失的安全感，孩子一般會有兩種處理模式，一種是對外界充滿防備感，不相信任何人。另一種是給自己心理暗示“我缺乏安全感，我缺愛”，并不斷向外“證明”缺乏安全感，這種證明包括“獲取”創(chuàng)傷。這樣的孩子容易出現(xiàn)性格自閉、情感脆弱等社交障礙。

兒童專家高壽巖也指出，為了避免孩子受到這樣的傷害，或者如果孩子已受創(chuàng)傷，唯一的解決辦法就是——全家給予孩子最大程度的關(guān)愛和陪伴，孩子的成長不是家庭中某個成人單方面的責(zé)任。

誤區(qū)：陪著不等于陪伴

近日，一對北京到青島旅游的8歲雙胞胎姐妹在青島某海灘失蹤，被發(fā)現(xiàn)時已雙雙溺亡。母親讓孩子們在沙灘上挖沙子，而自己玩起了手機，就是發(fā)條朋友圈的時間，孩子就不見了。當(dāng)然事故不僅是因為家長看護(hù)不周的問題，但假若家長能全心的“伴”在孩子左右，發(fā)生這種悲劇的可能性就會大大降低。

這樣的慘劇不是孤立的個案，令人震驚的是這樣的現(xiàn)象比比皆是。究竟是什么原因？發(fā)生慘劇時父母不就在左右嗎？

究其原因，這是很多父母和家庭對陪伴孩子的認(rèn)識誤區(qū)——陪著并不等于陪伴。陪伴是父母高質(zhì)量的對孩子傾注關(guān)注與愛；而陪著，只是人到心未到，故而對孩子也起不到任何的保護(hù)作用。這樣的父母何為“父母”？

電影《海洋天堂》中，李連杰飾演的父親王心誠在知道自己的孩子患有自閉癥時就一直陪伴在他左右，即使王心誠在被確診患肝癌晚期，想的也是如何安置好孩子的生活。父親希望告訴孩子，無論在任何時候任何地方都不需要害怕不需要孤單，因為有父親的陪伴——像一只海洋中的海龜，陪他在左右。

有再好的物質(zhì)，但是沒有愛的陪伴，孩子的內(nèi)心就是一座孤城。

孩子的成長需要高質(zhì)量的陪伴，這種陪伴是父母，是家人能夠與孩子充分的溝通，是給予孩子的呵護(hù)、傾聽，讓孩子感受到來自家庭的溫暖與愛。

不要說沒時間，陪伴的方式其實有很多種

現(xiàn)實中，父母或其他家庭成員可能因為各種原因沒有辦法陪伴孩子，即使是這樣，也應(yīng)當(dāng)讓孩子感受到來自父母的關(guān)注。比如，在外出差、在外工作的父母，可以通過類似掌通家園這樣的家園共育平臺實時收看孩子的近況，老師也可以通過平臺將孩子的每一個成長瞬間傳遞給父母。

對此，家園共育領(lǐng)軍平臺—掌通家園聯(lián)手高壽巖、胡萍、蔡偉忠等國內(nèi)著名的兒童教育專家，呼吁寶寶成長是全家的共同責(zé)任，家庭中的每一位成員都應(yīng)該給予寶寶更多的關(guān)愛和高質(zhì)量的陪伴。

據(jù)了解，掌通家園將于9月1日至20日期間，在全國范圍內(nèi)發(fā)起“920全民愛娃日”。通過邀請其他家庭成員進(jìn)入親友團(tuán)、轉(zhuǎn)發(fā)集贊搶紅包等多種線上玩法，從而讓更多人參與到家校共育，讓孩子得到更多的關(guān)注和陪伴。

孩子的成長一輩子只有一次，但愿他的童年都有您陪伴一旁的身影和您關(guān)愛他的美麗回憶。

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